New Beginnings to Old Stories
by two-pixiepeople
Summary: Follow the adventures of the whole HP gang in this hilarious rewrtitng of the series includes harry's sister and snape's niece!
1. Introduction Nessecary

New Beginnings  
  
  
It's Harry Potter's first year at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and  
Wizardry standing at the front of the great hall waiting to be sorted  
with his newfound bestfriend Ron Weasley, a girl comes ever so   
silently through the squeaky great hall doors in Gryffindor Quidditch  
robes all heads turn towards here as she speaks   
"Ummm Dumbeldore, why is there a sorting going on its only May,   
shouldn't we all be in classes?" George weasley walks calmly up to   
this girl "Lauren it's alright i'll explain everything later just come and  
sit with me and watch the ceremony." "Ok George." she said as   
George escorted her to a seat at the front of the Gryffindor table.   
  
Meanwhile Harry looks over at Ron and asks,"why does that   
strange girl in the scarlet robes think it's may? and why does she   
oddly remind me of someone?", Ron clears his throat "umm i'm not   
allowed to tell you that, now keep quiet and watch the ceremony!"   
just then there is a loud clatter at the entrance of the great hall all   
heads once again turn to the doors, where a short, really short, girl   
in a green travelling cloak came running into the hall "oh shit!   
i'm late damn those wings!"   
  
Dumbledore stood and turned to her   
"Ms.Snape if you would refrain from using profanities in the school"   
at that moment all the heads in the great hall turned to her and then   
whipped around to stare at Snape who was staring shocked and appaled   
at the door while trying to sink into the floor unnoticed, too late!   
"OH UNCLE SEVERUS! HI! ARE YOU HAPPY TO SEE ME? did you   
drop your fork?" Snape didn't answer as he again tried to slide   
under the table with all eyes on him for his reaction.   
  
Meanwhile the girl in the scarlet robes had once again left the   
table and went to the doors followed by George who was trying to   
get her back into her seat. She greated the girl at the front doors   
"Hey Saria! Kyle told me you were coming this year! but he never   
mentioned that you were Snape's niece" as she tried to hold back   
fits of giggles she threw her arms around the girl in a hug. "umm,   
girls maybe we should go sit back down, well me and Lauren   
anyways, umm, Saria? i think you have to go up to the staff table   
to be sorted" meanwhile professor McGonagall has put Ron Weasley   
up on the stool to be sorted, where the hat has just screamed   
"GRYFFINDOR!" the whole Gryffindor table arose in great cheers,   
including George and Lauren who had now retaken their seats.   
Ron, who was now sitting across from Lauren and George, looked   
up just in time to see Hermione be sorted into Gryffindor and walk   
down to sit beside Lauren. "no! don't sit there! that seats reserved!"   
Lauren looks at George quizzically and then turns to greet Hermione   
"Hello! i'm Lauren Potter! and you are?" "I'm Hermione Granger, wait   
a minute, Lauren Potter? as in THE Lauren Potter!? the GIRL who lived"   
"let me ask you this, do you know any other Lauren Potters?"  
she quickly smiled and returned to watching the sorting, of none   
other than Harry Potter. The hat seemed to take a while to figure   
out where to sort Harry, but eventually it shouted out "GRYFFINDOR"   
for the rest of the hall to hear. Amongst the cheers from the rest of the  
Gryffindors Harry was quickly taking his seat next to Lauren, unknown  
to him, his sister. As Lauren removes her head bandage, which is no  
longer of use to her, Saria is walking by Snape to be announced by  
dumbledore.   
  
"This year we have a transfer student to the second year, she is to be  
sorted and take classes just like the rest of you, please treat her kindly  
now, please welcome Saria Snape" the hall was in stunned silence and  
offered no applause , minus the few Gryffindors at the head of the table   
who were still talking, oblivious to what was happening everywhere  
else.   
  
Saria waved to everyone and sat on the stool. "ummm, Saria,   
you must remove your hood in order for me to place the hat on you"   
"oh yeah! *slaps head* silly me! i forgot!" she quickly lowered her hood   
to reveal green hair in loop braids (Suzy Brady style) and sat bouncing   
with anticipation on the stool waiting for the hat to be placed on her   
head. All the while snape is trying to sink futherr and further into the floor.  
The hat was on her head for a mere...1 1/2 seconds before it yelled   
"SLYTHERIN" for the rest of the hall. At the Gryffindor table Lauren  
who has removed her bandages, is now conversing with Harry and   
moves the hair on her head back to reveal the lightening bolt scar   
identical to Harry's... 


	2. Common Room Mayham

New Beginnings: 2  
  
The first years around the table all gasped as Lauren pulled back her bangs to reveal her  
lightening scar. "wwwwww-hy do you have a scar like mine?" "Well Harry, there's a simple   
explanation for that, I'm your sister..." Harry turned to look shocked at Ron who confirms that,  
yes, she is indeed his sister and that he knew the whole time. Harry exploded with questions "why  
haven't we ever met before? how come i didn't know about you?" Lauren put her hands up "whoa!   
slow down lil' fella! I'll explain it all in the common room! i need to eat, it's been four   
months aparently since my last meal!" no sooner had the words left her lips when the plates all   
filled up with food.   
  
Meanwhile along the staff table Saria just remembered that Snape was sitting at that   
table. She decided to say hi. "HI UNCLE SNAPE! DID YOU HEAR? DID YOU HEAR? DID YOU HEAR? I'M IN   
YOUR HOUSE!oh we're going to have so much fun! we can play together *everyday*! remember how we   
used to play?" it was at this point when Snape had jumped up from his seat and was in the process  
of dashing around the table to stop her next words that she raised her voice loud enough for the   
entire great hall to hear. "remember how you used to play dress-up, and house, and tea party with  
me! oh we used to have so much fun! and you helped me paint my room pink! and remember on   
halloween-" Saria could say no more as Snape clamped his hand around her mouth to silence her,   
the great hall erupted with laughter and "WE WANT TO HEAR MORE!' from George Weasley. Snape, who  
was now blushing even more slid off to the side and deposited Saria in an empty chair beside   
Draco Malfoy who was staring at the other end of the room at Lauren, and went to speak to   
Dumbledore. As Snape walked away Saria turned to Draco "hi Draco!" "huh? uh, what? how do you   
know my name?" "i heard it at the sorting!" "oh ok, hey you know that girl over there don't you?"  
"yeah ofcourse i do!" "uhh, who is she?" "oh! thats Lauren Potter!" Draco stared blankly at her   
for a moment "L-L-Lauren P-Potter!? POTTER!?" "yeah! Lauren Potter! Harry's big sister! why is   
there a problem?" "gah! uh no!" he quickly busied himself with his food, but since he was still   
staring at her, he was constantley missing his mouth.  
  
Over at the Gryffindor table Lauren was telling a joke "ok so i went into this bar a   
couple year back and there was this guy in a kung fu outfit sitting at the bar he was like   
totally blitzed and he looks at me and says take the advice of the wise kung fu master and never   
test the depth of the water with both feet!" as everyone else in ear shot laughed Lauren smiled,   
picked up her goblet and began chugging her pumpkin juice at an alarming rate. All the while  
Harry just stared, completly amazed that he had a sister, that and the fact that she could chug  
pumpkin juice better than any of the Weasleys was an amazing fact as well.  
  
While all of this was going on Snape was up at the staff table talking to Dumbledore,   
well...begging to Dumbledore, to kick Saria out, before she ruined his life and what little bit  
of dignity and reputation he had left. "pleaaase headmaster! she can't be attending Hogwarts!   
She's not even a witch! remember!" "Severus, she is half witch, and she is you niece! you should  
be a little kinder to her" "but! but! she came from the school for half magical creatures over in  
Scotland! you *can't* let my scottish niece in here! she's...she's...part pixie for crying out  
loud!" he said the last little bit in a harsh whisper, he didn't really want the other teachers  
to know that he was in fact, related to a pixie. "I'm sorry Severus, but she is here now, she   
flew all the way from Scotland to be here, and i don't fancy the idea of sending her back out,   
look at the weather! we're in the middle of a rainstorm!" "but! headmaster-!" "no buts Severus!   
she's staying! whether you like it or not! you are going to teach your niece, spend some time   
with her, and like it! now get back to your seat! your making a mockery out of yourself!"   
defeated, Snape got up and slumped back over into his chair, he didn't touch his food, he was to  
nausiated at the scene Saria was making over in the corner, she was showing off her ears, making  
them grow pointy like a pixie's and then returning them to normal repetetively. I hope they get   
stuck! he thought.  
  
Dumbledore suddenly stood up and announced that it was bed time and they should all get a   
goodnights rest because classes were starting tommorw. The Gryffindor table made it up first with  
Lauren looking around at all the decorations oohing and ahhhing at them, it had been 4 months  
since she saw them all, and she walked hand-in-hand with George all the way back to the common  
room. Hermione was right behind them all spewing out facts of Hogwarts a history to Harry and Ron  
neither of which were really paying attention to her, Harry was still in shock about his sister  
and Ron just didn't care.  
  
Over at the Slytherin table however..."what!? it's bed time!? it's only 8:30! what the   
hell! you guys have one helluva curfew! damn! at my old school we never went to bed until 11:30  
atleast! and still made it up fro breakfast and classes! with time to spare! god! you guys are   
LAZY!" Saria shouted still sitting at the table not moving from her seat. Snape came and loomed   
over her. "Saria, get your ass back to the common room!" "excuse me!? how come the teachers get   
to swear, but I can't! thats unfair! damnit! i wanna be allowed to swear to! Dumbledore! if I   
can't swear why can he!?" Snape whirled around to see Dumbledore's smiling face and twinkling  
eyes "Severus, you know you aren't allowed to swear either" "err...yes headmaster, please excuse  
me" he picked up Saria from under her arms and dragged her from the hall all the while she was  
complaining that she wasn't tired and that it wasn't even her bedtime yet.  
  
Over in the Gryffindor common room Lauren and George are sitting in an armchair together   
by the fireplace kissing each other gently while George is makin remarks about how much he's   
missed her and how worried he's been. Angelina was talking with Katie Bell "even after 4 months,   
nothing has changed between them" "well for Lauren nothing really has changed! to her, it's like  
no time has passed at all!". Harry just looked on in amazement. Fred, seeing the look on Harry's   
face, leaned over and whispered in his ear "this was always a usual occurance in here before, and   
it looks like it's going to start up again" Harry simply nodded, silent. Ron then leaned over to   
Harry and whispered in his ear "remind me to *never* sit in that chair!" he said grinning.   
Hermione looked over at him appalled and stomped on his foot to silence him "shut up Ron! it's  
sweet!" Ron winced but said no more.  
  
Back in the Slytherin common room Snape has just dragged Saria in, literally. He was damn   
tired, she had refused to be cooperative and kicked and whined all the way back. As he dragged  
her through the dungeons her topic of complaint switched to the decor, dark, dank, and downright  
freaky "hey! uncle Severus! this place looks dead! it neds some livening up! how about some   
colour!? how about a little *light*!" Snape ignored her. "why wont you talk to me!? don't you   
love me anymore?" her eyes started to well up with tears. "oh please be quiet! i can't   
redecorate! it's a dungeon! it's supposed to be this way!" "ewww! a dungeon1 you expect me to   
take a shower in dungeon water!? does this place have rats? what the hell is that smell!? uncle  
Severus? did you crack one off!?" Snape stopped and looked appalled at her once more then   
continued dow the corridor with her still complaining about 'letting it loose' while you drag   
someone behind you without warning them first.  
  
Draco had managed to stumble back to the common room as well, however, he had been day-  
dreaming off Lauren the whole time and couldn't really focus on where he was going causing him  
to bump in to things. Needless to say, he walked into the common room heavily bruised. The  
second Pansy Parkinson saw him she flipped out, asking him all kinds of questions about how he   
had managed to injure himself this badly. He wasn't paying attention though.  
  
When he entered the common room they saw that most Slytherins were roasting   
marshmallows in the fire. His ears were also met by an unnusual thing. Over at a chair Snape was  
trying to tell Saria off and get her a little more under control and also keep his dignity (or  
atleast what he had left of it) while being hugged repetetively by her when he was yelling at her  
and recieving no more than giggles of delight at his distressed tone. "your so funny when you're  
mad uncle Severus! can we play now?" Draco found himself a nice quiet corner and began trying to  
explain off the fact that Lauren is a Potter "she *can't* be a potter! It's impossible! I Draco  
Malfoy, can not be in love with a potter! It's just not right!" Crabbe and Goyle were poking him  
trying to make him talk to them. They had no idea what he was ranting about, he was speaking to  
quietly for them to hear. 


	3. explanations and goodnight kisses

New Beginnings: 3   
  
Back in the Gryffindor common room Fred has managed to get George away from Lauren for   
Harry to talk to her by telling him he had set a dungbomb off in Percy's pants. George ofcourse   
excused himself to go and see. Harry took this chance to go up to Lauren and ask a few questions  
that he desperatley needed to know the answers to.  
  
"so Lauren, why didn't i ever know about you?" he asked looking at his sister as though   
this were a strange dream.  
  
"well Harry thats because a) it was a safety measure and b) the Dursley's are lying   
bastards who have never told you a word of truth." she stated simply.  
  
"well i understand your second reason, but what do you mean 'safety measures'?"  
  
"well harry what i mean by safety dumbledore put us in seperate houses and made sure we   
were never in the same city at the same time, the reason behind that is because if voldemort ever  
found one of us he would never find the other!"  
  
Harry nodded in uderstanding "i see, did you know about me?"  
  
"yes i did know about you"  
  
"how?"  
  
"i have my ways you see i'm what they call a sybil in other words i'm psychic , well that   
and i made aunt gwen and dumbledore tell me everything that happened and one other thing but i   
cant tell you what that is yet..." Harry didn't really want to pressure her into to asking why he  
couldn't be told.  
  
"why did you show up in the great hall in scarlet robes and bandages thinking it was   
may?"  
  
  
"oooooo that....well i'm still not a million percent clear on that myself but from what   
george told me at dinner i was hit by a bludger at the last quidditch game of the season and i   
feel 65 from my broom putting me into a coma which apparently i was in for four months.......in   
the hospitol wing so ummm ya i still think it should be may"  
  
Harry again nodded in uderstanding "so, just how close are you with George?"  
  
"ummm..." Lauren turned beet red and Harry grinned. "ok next question Harry!"  
  
"ok, how do you know that girl in the green cloak?" he asked  
  
"well *blush reduces slightly* that is an easy question she, saria is our cousin Kyle   
O'riley's girlfriend, they attended a school for half magical creatures together and i was   
introduced to her last christmas"  
  
"oh i see, what do you mean 'half magical creatures? what is he?"  
  
"he's half leprechaun"  
  
"oh...i see, ok i guess i'll buy that for now"  
  
  
George and Fred are over in their little corner and Fred is discussing with Goerge about  
rushing Lauren back in to a full blown relationship with Lauren right after she awakens from a  
four month coma.  
  
  
"george why the hell are you doing this you git lauren's just woken up after 4 months   
and you act like no time has passed give her a bloody chance to readjust!"  
  
"*whining* but fred i'm horny now i've been without her for four months i love her i   
cant wait andymore i need her to much!"  
  
Meanwhile in another corner of the room Ron is trying to teach Hermione how to  
'loosen up'. She is however, refusing to listen to his lessons. Percy was off trying to quiet   
everbody down and usher them off to their rooms, no was listening though.  
  
Back in the Slytherin common room Snape had had enough of Saria. "ALRIGHT! IF YOU ALL   
AREN'T IN BED BY THE COUNT OF 3 I'M GOING TO HEX YOU ALL!" no sooner had the words left his lips  
than Draco ran up the stairs and locked himself in his dorms and wouldn't come out or unlock the  
door to let Crabbe or Goyle (who were desperatley trying to get in to talk to him) in the room.  
  
Saria (who has been hugging him since the moment they got into the common room) looked up  
at him "uncle Severus? will you read me bedtime story and sing me a goodnight song? and give me a  
kiss goodnight? if you don't i wont leave! and i'll hug you aaaall ight long! and not let you get  
any sleep!"  
  
Marcus Flint laughed "yeah professor! how bout it professor a tuck in and a goonight hug  
what'dya say"  
  
It was at this time that Snape lost it completely. He hexed Flint with a spell he had   
created himself during his years at Hogwarts, the spell was simple really, whenever Flint tried  
to speak, different sounds and noises would erupt from his mouth instead of words. Flint tried to  
speak but...  
  
"QAUCK! MOOO!" Flint clasped his hands over his mouth and looked pleadingly at Snape fix  
him. Snape however, had conveniently forgotten the counter-curse, and he wouldn't remember it   
until morning.  
  
"well? how about it uncle Severus?" Saria looked up at him with a smirk and hugged him   
tighter "will you read to me and sing to me and kiss me good night? or do i have to stay here?"  
again she gave him a smirk "come on uncle Severus! you *always* used to!"  
  
Snape blushed slightly "everyone, get to bed!"  
  
"i'm not going anywhere!"  
  
"i know you wont, your staying for a little while, the rest of you, to bed!"  
  
The rest of the students slowly trudged off to their rooms mumbling about how funny it   
would have been to hear Snape sing a lullabuy.  
  
"SCREEE!" was all Flint could do to agree.  
  
When all the others were off in bed, Snape sat in a chair by the fire and placed Saria on  
his lap. "one story!"  
  
"and a song?"  
  
"one song as well"  
  
"and a kiss goodnight?"  
  
"very well, a kiss goodnight to"  
  
"yay! i've missed you uncle Sevvy!"  
  
Snape began a short story "hickory dickory dock   
three mice ran up the clock   
the clock sturck one and the other two escaped with minore   
injuries!"  
  
Saria: giggled "incle Sevvy! thats not right! tell another one!  
  
"alright, last one *ahem* humpty dumpty sat on a wall  
humpty dumpty had a great fall  
all the kings horses  
and all the kings men  
had omlettes for breakfast again!"  
  
"uncle Sevvy?"  
  
"yes?"  
  
"can i have a humpty dumpty omlette to?"  
  
"not tonight"  
  
"awww! ok, sing me a song!"  
  
"err...ok...which one?"  
  
"sing the one you always used to sing to me, please?"  
  
"ummm....ok, but then your going to bed!"  
  
"ok!"  
  
"*ahem* rock a by baby in the tree top  
when the wind blows  
the cradle will rock  
when the bow breaks  
the cradle will fall  
and down will come baby  
cradle and all"  
  
Saria was starting to fall asleep (AN: i know this is OOC for him but oh well, we don't  
really know what he does when he's alone!) in his arms  
  
"alright, thats enough for tonight! get to bed!" his old menacing tone now back in place.  
  
Saria shoved off his lap while grinning "you forgot my hug and kiss goodnight!"  
  
"don't you ever get enough of hugging people?"  
  
"nope!" she held her amrs wide open for a hug which he reluctantley gave her along with a  
peck on the cheek and then shoved her down in the direction of the dorms while muttering about  
something on his way to bed. 


	4. nonpeace and no more hair grease

New Beginnings: 4  
  
Snape was curled up under his warm covers in his cold dungeond quarters. he snored softly  
until...  
"IT'S WAKEY TIME UNCLE SNAPE!"  
  
"OOF!" Saria had pounced on Snape from the end of his bed landing directly on his   
stomach. It was needless to say he had a few...things to say. Something along the lines of a   
string of profanities in which Saria covered her ears, not because she hadn't heard them all and   
more before, but because he bellowed them. He jolted up the giggling Saria still sitting on him  
(on his legs now). Wearily he turned to look at the clock. "6 AM!? WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU   
THINKING!?"  
  
"well it's not like you need your beauty sleep! i don't think even that would help!" She  
giggled as he scowled at her and turned over pulling the covers up over his head. "go away!"  
  
"but it's wakey time!"  
  
"6 am is not 'wakey time!"  
  
"yes it is!"  
  
"when your a pixie maybe"  
  
"but you should be up preparing for your first class!"  
  
"my first class isn't until the afternoon!"  
  
"wonderful! then you can get up and take a shower for the first time in your life! and   
maybe i could cut your hair!?"  
  
"stay away from the hair!"  
  
"oh come ON! *picks him and tosses him in the shower* they gave you these facilities for  
a reason! use them!" She turned on the water shocking him awake.  
  
"GAAH!" Snape had been sleeping in his boxers and they were now soaked. Saria took his  
temporary moment of shock to dump plenty of shampoo onto his head and rub it in well.  
  
"damn! when was the last time you washed your hair?" Snape didn't answer, he was to  
embarrassed, but who wouldn't be? he was having his hair washed like a child BY a child! Saria  
then smothered his hair in conditioner and when she was done and his hair was dry and brushed his  
hair looked smooth and silky, much better than it had!.  
  
Over in the Gryffindor common Fred was just waking up, he opened the hangings of his   
twins bed and jumped back. "GAH! what the HELL!?" Fred exclaimed as he stepped back from Geroge's  
bed. In it with George was none other than Lauren Potter sleeping soundly while cuddling him, or  
atleast she was before Fred yelled. She then stirred and George awoke with a start.  
  
"Fred what the hell? whats all the shouting about?"  
  
"Lauren's in your bed! you dumbass!"  
  
George looked down at Lauren who was just starting to open her eyes "well so she is" he  
stated as if it were an every day topic.  
  
"well, explain yourself George"  
  
"explain what? she's in my bed and i don't know how she got here!"  
  
"i don't remember THIS in your previous relationship with her!"  
  
"i had a nightmare and i came in to sleep with George because i was scared! he had   
nothing to do with it!"  
  
".....oh....i see"  
  
"yeah! get the facts before you flip Fred!"  
  
"sorry George! sorry Lauren!"  
  
"hey! shut up! i'm trying to sleep!"  
  
"sorry Lee!"  
  
"yeah whatever"  
  
It was at that moment that Percy came in smiling "Fred! George! thank you so much! you've  
woken up the whole dorm! finally! everyone is up when they're supposed to! so come on! et dressed  
it's alright 7:05!" He failed to notice George and Fred desperatley trying to hide Lauren from   
sight.  
  
"oh great! thanks Fred! now we have to think of a way to regain our rep!"  
  
"should be easy enough, dungbombs anyone?"  
  
George was trying to hide Lauren and get her out of the boys dorms before anyone noticed,  
namely Percy. He was however spotted, by Ron Weasley. Ron grinned "so George, what have YOU been  
up to lately?" he said "hmm i wonder what harry would think of you if he found out you've been   
sleeping in george's bed..." Lauren walked over to him and picked him up by the collar of his   
pyjama top "listen ron if you say one word of this to my little brother i'll personally make sure  
you look like that" as she said this she pointed at Scabbers the rat who was hanging lazily from  
Ron's shirt pocket. Ron could only nod in agreement,as he was hanging 3 feet from the floor in the  
girls grasp. "good" Lauren then dropped him on the ground and proceeded on her way to her dorms   
to change, Lauren just grinned at Ron.  
  
In the great hall most of the other houses had already arrived for breakfast. Some of the  
Slytherin's had already arrived as well. Then a smiling Saria skipped into the room holding  
tightly onto a miserable looking professor Snape's arm. Everyone in the great hall whipped their   
head around when they heard Saria come in humming loudly and gasped at Snape's hair. It was   
clean! Hell must've frozen over! Snape's hair looked soft and shiny, not grubby and dirty as they  
were all used to, and his skin didn't look slimy and waxy anymore! what had Saria DONE!? whatever  
she did, it was a miracle. Some of the girls (including McGonagall) made cat calls and wholf-  
whistled at him as he came in. Some girls even howled as he walked past.  
  
Just then the Gryffindor's came in. they took one look at snape and stopped dead in   
tracks, except for Lauren who had a thing or two to say. She walked up behind Snape and said   
loudly "well now! the greaseball finally took a shower! and he smells like peaches! hold on while  
i check out the window to see if there are pigs flying!" She actually ran to the window and   
pretended to see pigs flying through the clouds "we'll have to call Hagrid now!" The Gryffindors  
along with some of the other houses went into hysterics, Saria joined them, however, Snape did not   
like this joke. Saria saw the cold look of fury on his face and knew that since there were no   
house points to take away as of yet, he would hex her. She hugged the arm which was about to   
slide into his pocket for his wand and grinned up at him. "she meant it as a compliment! what she  
was trying to say, but didn't get it out right was, she likes the way your hair is! and that she  
likes the smell!" Snape glared at her then turned on his heel and stormed off to the head table  
and sat next to a grinning McGonagall. Over at the Slytherin table came a sound of a traffic   
accident which just happened to be Flint trying to laugh. This caused Saria and Snape to grin   
widely and everyone else, including the Slytherins, roar harder with laughter. 


	5. lost kids and herbology surprises

New Beginnings: 5   
  
After they ate breakfast Percy started handing out the timetables to the Gryffindors.   
After recieving theirs Lauren and George quickly disapeared not bothering to say where they were   
headed. Harry, Ron, and Hermione, now having finished their meal decided to get to their first   
class but soon found themselves hopelessly lost in a corridor that was very unfamiliar to them.   
  
"uh oh" said Harry  
  
"oh shit! where do we go?"   
  
"now calm down you two, i remember seeing a map in Hogwarts a history" the other two   
sighed with relief   
  
"however, i can't remember what it looked like..."   
  
"oh a lot of bloody help THAT does us now doesn't it Harry?!" Hermione just huffed   
  
"and i suppose you could say something better?" "in fact i could!" Just then a very   
ruffled, very embarrassed looking Lauren came out of a secret passageway in the wall. When Ron   
saw her he grinned making her giggle nervously. Harry was the first to speak.   
  
"what were you doing?" he asked   
  
"nevermind Harry, thats not important, but you three look lost, where are you trying to   
get to? i can have you there in two minutes!" she said quickly changing the topic.   
  
"ummm, we need to get to Transfiguration" Hermione piped up.   
  
"easy enough, follow me" and she took them back through the passage she first came   
through winding them through tunnels. Harry and Hermione had a few questions.   
  
"no really lauren what were you doing in here and why is you neck red?" Harry asked.   
  
"well even though i dont think it's any of your business i'll tell you because you're my   
baby brother and i like you, i was getting reaquainted if you will with george, now hurry up and   
follow me so you guys aren't late for class!"   
  
"how do you know that this passage will take us where we need to go?" asked Hermione.   
  
"because i know this school like i know the back of my hand i kow where every passage and  
corridor leads" she answered simply.   
  
"oh...i see...how?"   
  
"because, you don't date one of the worst trouble makers in the school without learning a   
few tricks"   
  
"i see"   
  
"through here" Lauren led them to a hidden stone door and opened it, they were right   
outside the Transfiguration classroom! "i gotta go for Herbology, see you guys later!" she   
disapeared behind the hidden door once again and left them to enter the class with seconds to   
spare.  
  
Lauren returned out the passage she came when she found Harry Ron and Hermione. But when   
she cam out, she saw another lost first year. It was none other than Draco Malfoy, he looked very  
upset and very lost looking up and down the hallways for any sign of something he recognized.  
  
Draco looked up and down the halls, he had no idea wher he was or which way he was   
supposed to go. He turned around and to his great surprise saw the woman he had been dreaming  
about walking towards him grinning. Lauren  
walked up to him.  
  
"hey hows it goin'?" she asked looking at the starry eyed Draco. however, in his light-  
headed ness, he could only stammer.  
  
"gell diuy dalkaborelli" was all he could manage.  
  
"hey, hold on their gel boy, now tell me your name and where your trying to get to so i   
can help you out" she said eyeing him, he didn't look stable.  
  
Draco however was trying to untie his tongue and the only sensible thing he could get out  
now was "are you an angel?" before he smacked himself on the head.  
  
Lauren looked at him, a small smirk played on her lips, she liked this little kid, he was  
cute, and rather amusingly upfront. "awww! thank you!" Draco blushed scarlet. "so, where are you   
trying to go? are you lost?"  
  
"umm....yeah...."  
  
"whats your name"  
  
"Malfoy, Draco Malfoy"  
  
"so, where are you trying to go?"  
  
"ummm, Transfiguration" he said meekly. Lauren groaned  
  
"i just came from there! oh well, come on, you're already late and so am i, Professor   
Sprout is going to kill me."  
  
Lauren ran quickly through the doors of the greenhouses and hurredly said "i'm sorry for   
being late Professor! i had to help a group of lost first years, including my brother, find their  
class, please forgive me for taking so long" she gave a small smile and ran over to Goerge who   
had saved her a seat and was waiting for her with a big flashy grin on his face. Lauren sat down  
and looked beside her where there was another empty space.   
  
As if on cue Saria came bursting through the doors with a wide grin on her face, the   
teacher asked her where she had been since Saria didn't offer any information, she said something  
else to the teacher but in a much louder voice than Lauren did, and it was much different as   
well.  
  
"hello professor! i'm sorry and i have absolutely no legitimate reason for my lateness  
except for the fact that i am one lazy pixie!" her grin grew wider as Snape came running in   
panting.  
  
"damnit! you don't have to be so upfront! and here, you forgot all your books!" he handed  
Saria her bag full of textbooks and notebooks because the only thing she braught with her was   
her green travelling cloak. "have a good day Saria" he said and turned to leave, only to take a  
few steps and turn back blushing. He had just been caught acting like he cared about her like a   
parent/gaurdian.  
  
"bye bye uncle Severus! thank you for the books! even though you didn't stop nagging me   
about them"  
  
"i do not nag, i remind"  
  
"same difference!"  
  
"no it isn't! just remember your books!"  
  
"your nagging!"  
  
"reminding"  
  
"nagging"  
  
"oh forget it! just sit down!"  
  
"what! no good bye hug!? nothing?"  
  
Snape groaned "no!"  
  
"yes"  
  
"no"  
  
"yes!"  
  
"fine!" he quickly hugged her and left "and don't forget your books at the end of class!"  
  
"NAG!" she recieved no answer as he decided to ignore her. She quickly grinned and walked  
over to sit with Lauren ignoring all the other Slytherins making vigorous gestures for her to sit  
beside them. She ran right up and sat beside Lauren recieving an evil glare from Lee who was   
shoving his seet farther and farther away from her and a look that seemed to scream 'get away   
from my girl you evil bitch!' from George, it wasn't welcoming, atleast not to a normal person it   
wouldn't be. Saria however, was not normal and she turned to Lee and leaned in close to him so   
that their noses were almost touching and he began to sweat "....do i scare you?" he didn't   
answer, she leaned in closer so that her nose was pressed up against his "....BOO!" Lee went   
toppling off of his seat earning laughs from Saria and the rest of the Slytherins and the   
Gryffindors glared at Saria some more.  
  
"Saria! 10 points from Slytherin!"  
  
"for asking a question? seems rather unfair!"  
  
"for disturbing the class and coming in late!"  
  
Saria shrugged and turned to Lee offering him her hand with a smile "want some help?" he  
glared at her and got himself up. He didn't look in that direction for the rest of the lesson.  
  
"boy, you guys sure know how to welcome a girl!" Saria whispered to Lauren.  
  
"it's just because you're a Slytherin, and a Snape, your rep has been set, and it isn't a  
good one either, and by being mean to Lee, though it was rather amusing, your just reinforcing  
it!" again Saria shrugged.  
  
"reps can be destroyed as easily as they are made, and thats one of my intentions here"  
she said simply and began to work. 


	6. bitten in the garden

New Beginnings: 6  
  
Professor Sprout, now cooled off from yelling at Saria turned her attention to Lauren and  
she smiled,  
  
"Lauren? would you please run and fetch me some Mandrake roots from the shed in the   
middle of my garden please?" she asked still smiling. Lauren was overjoyed at the thought of   
going into the deadly gardens.  
  
"sure professor! I'd love to go! but can i take George with me?" she asked.  
  
"yes ofcourse, it is dangerous in there, Mr.Weasley, please assist Lauren in fetching me  
my Mandrake roots please" she said and then returned her attention to the rest of the class.  
  
"sure professor! we'll be back in a bit!" George grabbed Lauren's hand and darted out of   
the greenhouses towards the garden. When the teachers back was turned Saria began making faces  
at her behind her back much to the delight of the Slytherins and a few Gryffindors, the   
Gryffindors who laughed earned glares from the rest of them.   
  
Lee and Fred were talking quietly to each other "i'll bet they're gone for an hour! doing  
you know what!" Lee chuckled.  
  
"they better not be! She just came back and he jumps on her like a rabbid bunny during  
mating season!" Fred said though grinning at his own choice of words. Saria decided she wanted in  
on this conversation as well.  
  
"i'll bet you ten sickles they aren't back 'til the end of the period! she whispered   
back. Again Lee scooted away and Fred scowled at Saria.  
  
"just like a Slytherin to eavesdrop!" said Fred glaring at her.  
  
"will you take my bet?" she asked, a sly smile playing on her lips.  
  
"i'll take it!" shot Lee  
  
"might as well!"  
  
"it's settled then, five sickles neither of them reutrn until the end of class, if i win  
i get ten sickles from each of you, if they're within an hour, Fred and I owe Lee ten sickles  
each, if they come back within half an hour Lee and I owe Fred ten sickles each!" Saria said,  
they all reluctantley shook hands on it to make it final. Then professor Sprout came up from   
behind.  
  
"Ms.Snape! what are you doing gambling in the school!? and in MY classroom!? have you no  
respect for your elders!?"  
  
"i do indeed professor, the ones who are worthy of it, but this is a boring class" Saria  
grinned up at Sprout who was turning red from anger. Fred didn't really think Saria was as bad   
anymore, after all, she was having fun causing havoc in class, and she made Professor Snape  
look like a moron! maybe she wan't so bad, for a Slytherin. He leaned over while Sprout was  
trying to calm herself and Saria was grinning and whispered in her ear.  
  
"don't let Lauren hear you diss Herbology! it's her favourite class!"  
  
"i'm a mischief maker, not moron, i know when to keep my mouth shut and when to have fun"  
she whispered back grinning again at Fred to show she wasn't insulting him and mouthed 'thanks  
for the concern anyways though' and turned back to Sprout. "hey! is this class gonna get   
moving? because i think i'm falling asleep!" Sprout glared at Saria and then grabbed one of her  
ears and began to drag her out of class, Saria's ear went pointed and she could feel less pain,  
she should piss off this teacher more often. "so! where we ogin' professor? oh and Fred! don't  
forget to let me know who won the bet ok!?" Fred said nothing as he blushed when all eyes  
turned to him. Sprout shook Saria's ear and squeezed harder making her yelp a little but she  
kept grinning, her left eye muscle twitching. "so where we goin'?"  
  
"to see professor Snape! I'll let him discipline you!" she grinned malicously, she could  
almost see Snape yelling at Saria. But Saria didn't seem all that upset, in fact she grinned.  
  
"oh goody! a trip to visit uncle Severus!"  
  
Lauren was running through the garden's dosging plants, George wasn't far behind. They   
were both laughing, George was trying to catch Lauren before they got to the shed. George got a   
little closer and tackled Lauren to the ground rolling around in fits of luaghter while the   
plants snapped their jaws trying to reach them hoping for a good meal. They rolled around in   
circles and when they stopped, Lauren was on top. Lauren leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on  
his lips. George recoiled and pulled his mouth away "Lauren, we can't do this"  
  
"why not?" she asked looking puzzled and a little hurt.  
  
"because, you just woke up, and i promised Fred i would let you readjust before i did  
anything with you." Lauren sighed.  
  
"well if you feel thats-YOWCH!" a Venomous Tentacula bit her in the ass, thus ending   
their romantic moment. George got pissed.  
  
"HEY YOU STUPID PLANT HER ASS IS MY PROPERTY YOU MAY NOT TOUCH IT!" he took out his wand  
"INCENDIO!" the plant withered and Lauren was rolling on the ground in a giggle fit.  
  
Class soon ended and people were flocking to the great hall for lunch. 


	7. men are dense and bodily pain

New Beginnings part 7  
  
Lauren and George walked into the great hall at lunch hand in hand with a bag of mandrake   
roots. They walked by the Slytherin table and Lauren greeted Draco.  
  
"Hi Draco how's it goin'?" George was glaring daggers at the Slytherins. Draco in the   
meantime was having a spazz fest in his tomoato soup.  
  
"oh my god she talked to me!!!???" his face ended up in the soup and he was breathing it   
in, also known as hyperventilating, he then started to gulp it "hmmm, not bad". George and   
Lauren then proceded to the staff table where professor Sprout asked them why they hadn't shown   
up in class.  
  
"well, we had a little trouble, in the garden" Lauren said frowning at George, the memory  
of the tantacula still fresh in her memory and ass. George assumed though that she meant she   
was sad about his promise to Fred. "I'm sorry professor, it wont happen again" Lauren said while   
secretly rubbing her ass wound. George however was to busy looking over at the Gryffindor table   
to notice this.  
  
Saria then walked in the door followed by Snape. Her right ear was red and pointed and   
looked very sore, she had a forced smile but the pained, annoyed look was clear in her eyes,   
and the look on snape's face was priceless. She walked over to the Gryffindor table where George  
and Lauren had just sat down. Lauren was now in deep conversation with Harry so she found it a   
good time to ask Fred and Lee about their little bet.  
  
"So Fred, Lee, did i win the bet?" Fred looked a little annoyed but Lee smiled.  
  
"what bet?" Saria returned the grin with malice.  
  
"the bet you and Fred made with me during Herbolgy! you remember don't you? it was about   
how long it would take George and Lauren to return from the gardens! and then you said 'i bet   
their gone an hour getting it on in the garden'!" Lee blushed a deep colour when he looked at   
George's face.  
  
"you made a bet on me and lauren's...physical relationship?" his left eye muscle was  
twitching. Fred was looking down the table to see if Lauren could hear their conversation. But  
she was still talking to Harry as they were getting up to go to the hospital wing, her butt was   
beginning to swell. Fred then turned to George.  
  
"well, you kept your promise didn't you? didn't you!? tell me!"  
  
"ofcourse i kept my promise to you, much to my displeasure as well as Lauren's, who by   
the way, is ready to kill you for it, and i think she's mad at me, and it's all your fault! if   
she breaks up with me i'll never talk to you again!"   
  
"she won't break up with you, she loves you to much damnit!!"  
  
"ahem, the bet? boys?"  
  
"SHUT UP AND HANG ON!" Fred, George and Lee all yelled in unison.  
  
"now why in hell are you betting on me and Lauren!?" Fred and Lee shuffled in their seats  
like kids in trouble in front of their parents.  
  
"ummm, she manipulated us! it's not our fault!"  
  
"excuse me? Lee started it! i just joined in!"  
  
"but you were the one that suggested gambling"  
  
"SHUT UP ALL OF YOU! i want none of you to have anything to do with my personal life   
again! i'll do what i want, when i want with my grilfriend! ok Fred! and i don't want people   
prying!"   
  
Saria got pissed and hopped up onto the table jumping up and down whining like a small  
child.  
  
"DAMNIT! IT'S NOT FAIR! I DIDN'T START THE GAMBLING! LEE STARTED THE WHOLE THING! I   
JUST WANNA KNOW WHO WON OUR BET! THAT'S THE ONLY REASON I'M HERE! NOW TELL ME! TELL ME! TELL ME!  
TELL ME! TELL ME! TELL ME! TELL ME!" she began hopping in circles and stamping her feet in   
frustration. Snape came striding up blushing and grabbed her still, sore, red, pointed ear and   
dragged her from the great hall past Lauren and Harry who were just re-entering the hall.   
George, Fred and Lee were still fighting until Lauren came over and separated them.  
  
"Georgey whats going on? why is she being dragged away by the ear? and why are you all   
fighting? i left for two minutes and then all hell breaks loose!" she said with a pouty look on  
her face, Harry patted her on the back. George grabbed Lauren's hand.  
  
"come on Lauren, we're leaving, now"  
  
"but i want to spend time with my sister! i just met her after all! i need to get to know   
her!" Harry complained grabbing Lauren's other arm posessively.  
  
"jebus craps harry can i just take her for like 30 minutes we need to have a serious   
talk!" he pulled a little on Lauren's arm and started walking towards the door. Harry pulled back  
though.  
  
"o really i think i know your idea of serious you can talk anytime you have classes with   
her!" he pulled a little harder and then Lauren spoke up.  
  
"ummm hello how about asking for my opinion!" both boys looked at her.  
  
"just a sec Lauren we're argueing over you" they said in unison. Lauren got pissed.  
  
"excuse me! i am NOT some kind of object or material posession for you two to fight over!  
i am a human being! i have opinions!" she ripped her arms free from the boys grasps and stormed   
out of the hall, her hands clenched into tight fists.  
  
Harry and George scratched their heads.  
  
"geez whats up her butt?" asked Harry  
  
"i dunno, must be stressed or something, wanna go get something to drink?"  
  
"yeah sure why not" they both walked back to the Gryffindor table as if nothing had  
happened. Then it dawned on them, when they were drinking their pumpkin juice though. They ended  
up spitting it out all over Lee and Fred who were sitting across from them.  
  
"OH MY GOD!" cried George.  
  
"WHAT HAVE WE DONE?" yelled Harry.  
  
"WE LET HER WALK OFF AFTER MAKING HER UPSET AND TREATING HER LIKE AN INANIMATE OBJECT!"  
they screamed together before running out of the great hall in search of her to apologize. 


	8. potion problems and promises

New Beginnings part 8  
  
Down in the dungeons Lauren was grinning. She was eavesdropping on Snape trying berate  
Saria about the horendous scene in the great hall mere minutes ago. The key word is 'trying'   
she wasn't listening, she was grinnng while rubbing her very sore ear. George and Harry came   
running up to Lauren out of breath and were about to launch into apologies but Lauren shushed   
them and pulled them down to her level kneeling on the ground to listen.  
  
"I can't believe you would pull such a disgusting display of childish behaviour! WIPE   
THAT STUPID GRIN OFF YOUR FACE! DO YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY? YOU'RE MAKING A MOCKERY OF THE   
FAMILY NAME AND REPUTATION! THIS IS NO LAUGHING MATTER! I WILL NOT TOLERATE SUCH BEHAVIOUR! DO   
YOU THINK THIS PLEASES ME!?" Saria continued grinning, though her ear was sore she was quite   
enjoying his chaotic behaviour. It was amusing to her, and he left her an open line to boot.  
  
"ANSWER ME YOUNG LADY! DO YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY!?"  
  
"yes"  
  
"WHAT!?!?"  
  
"i said yes, it is funny, to see you turning red from embarrassment in front of the   
entire school and then going a deeper shade from anger and lack of breath, it is hilarious"  
  
"WHAT IS HILARIOUS!?!? you have embarrassed me in front of THE WHOLE SCHOOL!"  
  
"exactly! it's funny! your making a spectacle of yourself right now in fact! i bet they   
can hear you in the great hall! so uncle Severus, when are we going to sneak off to Hogsmead?   
You promised we'd skip school soon to have some qaulity time" Snape just stood there and gaped  
at her. How could she be so calm and happy when he was furious and yelling? Most people were  
scared to death when he yelled at them. And now, she had asked when they were skipping school   
to go to Hogsmead! Well, he did promise, and he did want to go sometime soon. She obviously   
wasn't listening to him anyways, he might as well answer her question and bring up the main   
subject later. He sighed.  
  
"probably friday Saria..."  
  
Lauren who was still listening gave a low quiet whistle. "damn i wish i could get out of  
school that easily! I'm running low on dungbombs!" she whispered to the others who nodded in   
agreement. Seeing as the most interesting parts were over for the yelling they decided to leave  
them to whatever they were planning to do and go talk. They found a nice empty room in the   
dungeon corridor and stepped inside. George decided that now was a good time to say what he had  
to say.  
  
"Lauren, i wanted to tell you that i've decided not to listen Fred, or anyone else for   
that matter, when it comes to our relationship. I want to be able to do what i want, when i   
want with you" he said looking into her eyes. Lauren smiled and Harry just kind of stood there.  
  
"so does this mean that if we get another chance like this morning we wont waste it?" she  
said with a grin. George grinned as well.  
  
"nope! we wont waste a spare moment!" he leaned forward and was about to give her a   
passonite kiss on the lips when Harry made a noise like he was clearing his throat.  
  
"you guys forget about me?" he said with his hands on his hips.  
  
"sorry buddy" Lauren said "why don't we go do something before class starts?" she asked.  
Harry grinned.  
  
"sure!" they walked out of the school to walk around the lake, George said he had to go  
talk to Fred and Lee so they went alone.  
  
Lauren walked into to her fourth period Hufflepuff potions class. She sat beside George as   
she had been previously doing as long as they had both been attending Hogwarts. Snape made his   
usual dramatic entrance with his cloak billowing behind him and stopped when he reached his   
desk. He eyed Lauren.  
  
"Miss Potter, please take your seat next to mr. Diggory, or have you forgotten our   
arrangement?" He gestured to the empty seat beside Cedric.  
  
"oh please forgive my forgetfullness your highness! i'll report to my new station   
immediatly! thank you for reminding me!" she answered, the sacrasm dripping from her words.  
George in the background could be heard cussing off Snape and the over-enthusiastic Cedric was  
being given a very dark glare.  
  
"calm down Cedric! damnit! your making the table shake!" Lauren said as she took her seat   
next to him. Cedric blushed and quickly quieted himself while being overjoyed at the fact that   
she talked to him, and she was now sitting beside him.  
  
"now that my class is back in order, i shall continue with the lesson, copy down the   
ingredients from the board and begin making your potions" he orered nad turned to the board.  
Lauren copied the ingredients and began doodling in her notebook while Cedric drew pictures of   
her with hearts around her name. George was to busyt giving evil glares of death to everyone to  
notice Diggory. Snape however did notice Cedric and so he said:  
  
"i will be collecting your lists and steps to evaluate you on your skills at the end of   
class" Cedric scrambled and turned over to face Lauren blushing.  
  
"can we hand in your copy?"  
  
"why?"  
  
"oh, no reason... your writing is just so much nicer than mine"  
  
"yeah whatever Cedric"  
  
"i will be randomly selecting papers"  
  
"SHIT!"  
  
"Mr.Diggory, 10 points from Hufflepuff!"  
  
"sorry professor" Lauren raised her hand.  
  
"yes Ms.Potter?"  
  
"Professor, if you already know the steps to making this potion and you already wrote it   
down on the board, then what is the point of collecting the papers? it's not necessary!"  
  
"are you finished miss.Potter?"  
  
"no but everything else will get points taken away from me" the whole class started   
clapping"   
  
"Ms.Potter, this is my class, and i don't need you trying to show off, i will do   
what i want in this class"  
  
"excuse me professor but i wasn't showing off, i was stating a fact" before Snape could  
reply, or take any points, or kill someone/thing, Saria came busting in the door.  
  
"HEY PROFESSOR UNCLE SEVVY!" the class snickered, Snape slightly blushed. "HI LAUREN! HI  
FRED! HI LEE! HI EVERYONE ELSE!"  
  
"Saria! what the hell do you think your doing in my class?!" Lauren jumped up.  
  
"excuse me professor! but if we aren't allowed to swear what gives you that right?"  
  
"i'm a teacher and i'm older, now sit down and get back to your potion!" Saria grinned  
  
"she's right professor uncle Sevvy!"  
  
"stop calling me that!"  
  
"why professor uncle Sevvy?"  
  
"because i said so"  
  
"but why professor uncle Sevvy?"  
  
"get out of my classroom! now! i'm trying to conduct a lesson!"  
  
"but i can't professor uncle Sevvy"  
  
"why? haven't you been kicked out of class again?"  
  
"no professor uncle Sevvy"  
  
"then why are you here? and stop calling me that!"  
  
"because i'm on a mission, but i'm niot goin' fihsin' professor uncle Sevvy, Professor   
McGonagall wants me to tell you that she wants to tlak to you after school in the side corridor  
alone so she can rape you"  
  
"WHAT?"  
  
"sorry, wrong message, thats for Dumbledore"  
  
"WHAT!?"  
  
"your message is she wants to talk to you in the staffroom after dinner! something about  
students complaining that you aren't nice to them or something"  
  
"very well, now go!"  
  
"but i don't wanna professor uncle Sevvy!"  
  
"why?"  
  
"because i can't professor uncle Sevvy!"  
  
"why now? another message"  
  
"no i just wanted to remind you to feed cuddles!"  
  
"shhhh! go! now!"  
  
"but i still can't professor uncle Sevvy!"  
  
"why NOW!?" Saria spread her arms.  
  
"because you never gave me a good-bye hug!" Snape groaned and grabbed her ear which   
caused her to scream.  
  
"CHILD ABUSE!" he quickly let go.  
  
"leave!"  
  
"hug me"  
  
"no"  
  
"hug me"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"HUG MEEE!"  
  
"ok, i was hoping i wouldn't have to resort to thism, Ms.Potter, remove her please"  
  
"why should i? what have you ever done for me?!" Snape groaned. Saria clasped her hands  
behind her back.  
  
"the only way to get rid of me is to either hug me, or give Lauren what she wants!"  
  
"fine, what do you want Ms.Potter?"  
  
"i have a long list of demands sir, but since i'm such a NICE person, i'll choose one,   
don't collect our work, and maybe we could have a day to make our own potions?"  
  
"very well, just remove her!" Lauren gladly got up to cheers from the class and picked   
Saria up.   
  
"come on Saria, lets go get some ice cream from the kitchens"  
  
"i want you back in five minutes!"  
  
"yeah yeah, sure sure"  
  
"yay ice cream! wait one thing more to do! carry me THAT way!"  
  
"no Saria, by the terms of our agreement i am to remove you, no hugs"  
  
"but i want HUUUuuuuuuuuugs" her voice faded as she was carried away down the hall for ice  
cream with Lauren. In the silence Cedric said:  
  
"that woman is a goddess" George jumped up.  
  
"WHAT DID YOU SAY!?"  
  
"well she is! and i wasn't making any moves on her!" George uncovered Cedrics notebook.  
  
"oh really? you are SO dead later!" 


	9. men are mean and we'll pull our own pran

New Beginnings: 9   
  
"WHAT?" Lauren's voice rang through the halls of Hogwarts from the Gryffindor common room.   
  
"it's nothing personal! the guys and i are just going ot do a prank!" came George's hurried reply.   
  
"yeah but without ME!?" came her heated response.   
  
"aw come on! it's just one! we really don't have a part for you in this one!" Fred could be heard saying. Fred, George   
and Lee were going to do a prank on the Slytherins. Fred and Lee wanted just George to come along. They wanted a 'boys   
prank' as they put it. But Lauren took it a different way. She felt left out but more enraged that George was going off ot have fun   
WITHOUT her. Lauren became more enraged with every word the tumbled from Fred's tongue. It felt as if they were burning   
daggers in her head. She was so upset.   
  
"FINE BE THAT WAY! I'LL GO FIND SARIA AND WE'LL PULL PRANKS THE LIKES OF WHICH   
YOU'VE NEVER EVEN CONTEMPLATED!" with that she turned on her heel and strode briskly from the room in search of   
the aformentioned Saria.   
  
*  
  
Saria was to be found, very expectedly, being led away from the Dark Forest by the ear by Snape.   
Left behind them was a very upset Hagrid who had called Snape to have her taken away. She had been trying to sneek in for   
the third time today and the ninth time this week. Hagrid quite frankly, was getting sick of the old trick. She would get in one or   
two meters before fang would begin barking and Hagrid would have to run and chase her through the forest to catch her and   
bring her back out while she kicked and screamed about wanting to see the huge spiders and the centaurs. Lauren walked by.   
  
"hi Hagrid!" she continued at a jog after Saria and Snape. Hagrid had not aproved of this since Saria first came to the   
school.   
  
"i don' know why yeh go off teh find her! she's nothin' but a bad influence on yeh! best to stay away from her sort!" he   
called after her. Lauren just waved as Saria, overhearing this as pixie's have a keen sense of hearing, grinned. Lauren, ignoring   
Hagrid's warnings, ran and caught up to Saria and Snape.   
  
"hey professor!" she said while glaring at him, he did not answer her but continued walking and holding on to saria's ear.   
  
"hi Saria! how's it goin'?"   
  
"oh good enough, i can complain, but at the moment that doesn't seem to be a wise thing to do" she replied as Snape   
tugged harder on her ear. He, like Hagrid, was getting sick of her trying to sneak into the dark forest.   
  
"can i borrow Saria for a while professor?" Lauren asked, as polite as she could to the most disgusting teacher in the   
school. But he smiled brightly.   
  
"please! take her! be my guest and get rid of her! keep her as long as you want!" he said in a hurry.   
  
"uuuh...thanks" she looked at him with a quirked eyebrow.   
  
"yay! playtime!" shouted Saria as she ran forward towards Lauren. "OUCH!" Snape had forgotten to let go of her ear   
and she had forgotten that he hadn't. She snapped back to him almost as if she were on the end of a yo-yo and looked up at   
him with sad eyes. Her eyes welled up with tears. "ouchie!" Snape rolled his eyes.   
  
"sorry" he said. She still wasn't pleased and she started crying. "i said sorry!" she still cried, but louder. "pleaaase stop   
crying!" she continued crying. Lauren got an evil grin.   
  
"perhaps you should hug her and ake her feel better?" she suggested, her sly grin playing on her lips as she held her ears   
from the awful, loud noise. She was anjoying watching Snape this way. He groaned and bent down...really far down as she is   
only 3'1", and hugged her. Her tears immediatley dried and she hugged back grinning give a thumbs up to Lauren who grinned   
again and returned the thumbs up. Snape let go and Saria ran over to Lauren.   
  
"bye-bye professor uncle sevvy!" she called as Lauren and her went running of a more deserted part of the grounds.   
Snape was relieved to watch her go.   
  
*  
  
Lauren and Saria had managed to find a descrete area where there were no other people for ten feet around them and   
so Lauren informed Saria of all the things that had happened in the Gryffindor common room a few minutes ago. Saria was   
rather interested in her tale. They proceded to plan a prank to top off any prank that Fred George and Lee might have in store  
and that would be remembered in the Slytherin and Gryffindor prank war for many years to come. 


	10. pity poor draco we pulled off our prank!

New beginnings: 10  
  
One day later, their plan was fully formulated and they were ready to put it into action.  
Their plan was to have Lauren start flirting with Draco and then with not very much hope or   
luck since it was almost a certainty, Draco would get aroused enough to run off into the   
bathroom. whereupon Harry would manage to be made to go into the bathroom through..interesting   
means. Then Saria would casually wlak by just as Draco was coming out. She would start talking   
really loudly about a mysterious white substance on his pants. And since he was likely to have   
been making some suggestive noises. It would start a few rumours. So this was the plan they   
were going to put into motion as soon as they changed classes right after lunch.  
  
Lauren and Saria emerged from their 3 period DATDA calss. on the way out George tried to  
talk to Lauren and put his arm around her. She shrugged off his arm, stuck her nose in the air   
and brushed passed, continueing a conversation with Saria who did the same. Fred and Lee were   
almost doubled over with laughter and George stood looking shocked and embarrassed in the   
hallway.   
  
It was then that they saw their prey, Draco Malfoy, walking down the hall. Saria quickly   
jumped up and behind a suit of armor to hide and wait for her cue. Lauren took up her role as   
soon as she was out of sight.  
  
"HEY DRACO! WAIT UP!" she ran up to Draco who had stopped dead in his tracks.  
  
he slowly   
turned around blushing and waited for her to run up. The others in the hall were all wondering   
whether she had gone mad. "uhh...hey Lauren, whats up?" Lauren placed an arm around his   
shoulders and steered him off to the side of the hall to talk more...privatley, in two   
different ways...  
  
"nothing Draco, i just wanted to talk. So what have you been up to lately?" she asked,   
itching to unwrap her arm from his shoulders. Draco blushed.  
  
"umm...nothing really...important..."  
  
"oh really? well i've been up to lots of stuff lately" She gave him a small wink while  
making a mental note to bring a barf bag whenever she saw him from now on.  
  
"oh yeah? well...uhh....what kind of...stuff?"   
  
"oh nothing really important, just quidditch praactice, there's just nothing like the   
feel of a hard wooden stick between your legs!" Lauren said casually as if it meant nothing.   
Draco, took the wrong way, he blushed horribly.  
  
"EXCUSE ME!" and he ran off in the direction of the boys bathroom. Saria jumped out   
from behind her suit of armor and ran up to Lauren laughing while tripping on her oversized  
robes .   
  
"WAY TO GO LAUREN! THAT WAS HILARIOUS! WHAT IN HELL DID YOU SAY?"  
  
"oh nothing much, i was just talking about quidditch and broomsticks" she gave an evil   
grin and Saria burst out laughing again. She fell on the floor and People were simply stepping  
over her or around her. Then Harry walked up. They had timed it perfectly.  
  
"hey! whats going on? is she having a seizure?" he asked as he looked down at Saria   
covulsing with laughter on the floor.   
  
"yeah she's fine, hey Harry, ever think about waterfalls? and rivers? or how about water  
falls and dams? thousands of gallons of water..flowing...splashing pouring through flushing   
meadows..." Harry began to look uncomfortable and shitfted his weight from foot to foot. Lauren  
grinned and Saria laughed harder on the floor.  
  
"ummm hey Lauren, i'll talk to ya later ok? i've...umm...gotta go..." and with that he   
raced off ot the very bathrooms that Malfoy had just run into.   
  
~*~  
  
Draco sat in his bathroom stall repeating to himself in his mind he started panting and thinking of all the things he could   
do, she came on so strong, to him it seemed, so that he thought, why bother with romance? She  
wanted to be frisky with him! And she said it, rather indirectly, to him right in the hall!  
  
"....i will never think of a broomstick the same way again...." he said out loud to   
himself. "especailly at a quidditch match!...." from his thoughts came...other thoughts that   
drove him to start picturing his thoughts. It threw him over the very bounds for which he had   
set himself for a bathroom stall...  
  
~*~  
Harry walked into the bathroom to hear some...slightly unfamiliar and frightening sounds   
coming from the end bathroom stall. Harry dismissed it as either constapation or someone trying  
to take a really bad dump. Then some slightly new noises started coming from the end stall and  
words started to come from the other end of the bathroom.  
  
"oh my god....holy shit she is so damn good" Harry recognized the voice but not when it   
was full of so much ecstasy. A moaning sound erupted from the stall and Harry bagan to rethink   
his earlier accusations. "oooooh....Lauuureeen...." Harry's eyes bugged out. a sound like a   
thick liquid hitting water came and a sigh of relief followed it. Harry couldn't stand it any   
longer. He had to know who it was.  
  
"uhhh....Draco?" he asked  
  
".....P-P-Potter?!?" came Draco's startled voice.  
  
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" they both screamed at once. Draco ran out of the bathroom trying to  
hurriedly do up his pants. Saria's cue. She waltzed up to where he was stumbling.   
  
"hey Draco! how are you! aren't you late for your next class!? hey! why are you doing   
your pants up in the hall1? are you trying to seduce me!? or are you just a pervert who wants  
everyone to see his wang? whats that white stuff all over your pants!?" she said in a higher  
voice than Draco would have liked. Draco ignored her and ran like lightening down the hall to   
his next class. Harry burst out of the bathroom looking scared out of his mind.  
  
"Lauren! Lauren! Lauren! you'll never guess what i just heard! oh my god it's   
disgusting!" he yelled as he ran to her. She was laughing her ass off and so was Saria as she   
came strolling up.  
  
"we don't really wanna know Harry! we already do, we set it up, but we don't want to hear   
the details!" Lauren said between giggles.  
  
"i want to hear the details!" Saria said. They ignored her and Harry looked at them both  
quizzically.  
  
"you set it up?" Lauren told him the whole plan that they had worked out. "COOL! can i   
have a part too?"  
  
"Harry, my dear brother, we were hoping you'd say that" Lauren said as she placed an arm  
around him.  
  
"we happen to have a part all ready for you!" came Saria.  
  
"really? what?" he asked curiously.  
  
"well it's simple really, while we let the rumours spread, with Saria to help them along   
into outragousness, we need you to tell George" Lauren explained.  
  
"you see it's a double operation, we want to embarrass Draco AND make George completely   
jealous so he'll pound the crap out of him!" Saria finished.  
  
"oooh! i get it! ok1 i'll go tell him!" Harry ran off to get George. Lauren and Saria   
exchanged a high five and headed to their respectful classes. They started laughing on their   
way as a single word rang out all through Hogwarts...  
  
"WHAT!?" 


	11. a happy ending to a perfect prank

New Beginnings 11  
  
Malfoy entered the great hall for dinner. The rumour of his bathroom escapade had spread   
like wild fire through the school. Needless to say Lauren and Saria had grins on their faces and   
seemed to take no notice of all the snickers and all out fits of laughter that flooded the great  
hall when he came in not to mention the disgusted looks he recieved for beatin' his meat in the   
bathrooms, other people had to use that stall damnit! Filch wasn't to happy. Malfoy hadn't done   
a good clean up job.  
  
George was not laughing. He was glaring daggers of enragement and death across the great   
hall at Draco. Lauren smirked while she watched Draco's embarrassment and George's fury. Saria   
grinned broadly at the entire great hall. Snape was watching her closely knowing it was her   
fault! Malfoy sat in his seat going pink for about ooohhh maybe...30 seconds. He got up and  
walked across tha hall to the Gryffindor table.  
  
"Lauren...uuum...y-y-you don't...believe the rumours do you?" he asked queitly.  
  
"what rumours Draco? the school is full of them!" she replied innocently.  
  
"you know...the rumours! about me...in the bathroom?"  
  
"i hadn't heard any rumours about you specifically" she said.  
  
"oh! ok....how about...ummm...maybe we could...go for a walk around the grounds? *cough   
cough*" Harry choked on his pumpkin juice. Lauren glanced around the area and made sure George   
was listening.  
  
"gee Draco, a walk around the grounds? just the two of us? alone?" she said in a rather  
loud voice.  
  
"well....yeah" he replied hesitantley making sure no one heard. Everyone did ofcourse but  
they acted as if they hadn't. George heard.  
  
"WHAT!? OK FIRST YOU JACK OFF ABOUT MY GIRLFRIEND, AND NOW YOU'VE GOT THE GUTS TO ASK HER  
OUT!? OH YOU ARE *SO* GONE!" George lunged at Draco scaring the shit out of him. A fierce brawl  
ensued and it took many teachers to pry the still struggeling George off of a very pummeled   
Draco who never even got a chance to throw a punch.  
  
Saria had fallen off of her chair (that had been piled with pillows and books to bring her   
up to the same level as the others) with laughter, it looked like George had grown wings because  
he didn't look like he touched the floor when he lunged at poor Draco. Snape put hos head in his   
hands. Why did he have to be related to this little hell-brat?  
  
Lauren watched on with interestas George mercilessley beat Draco into a bloody and   
dis-functional pulp. She though t is was kind of sweet how George would just leap over and beat   
the shit out of another guy who just asked to go for a walk. She remembered why she had fallen   
in love with him in the first place. She ran over to him and threw her arms around his neck as  
the teachers were still dragging himaway. He stopped struggling when he felt her familiar   
embrace.  
  
"u-u-uhhh Lauren! what the-!?" he stuttered.  
  
"oh just shut up and hug me George! i'd tell you to kiss me but your still in the   
restraints of the teachers" she whispered in his ear. George was very obediant and immediatley  
shook off the arms of the teachers which bound him and hugged her tightly. The great hall  
erupted in cheers of joy that there was, once again, only one band of mischief makers. And   
Hogwarts happiest couple was back together, the only one disapointed was Draco who was forever  
after reffered to as 'the sperminator'. 


	12. halloween hazards & humungeous hot dogs

AN: The character Lauren has had her name changed to Lisa. Sorry about the mix-up.

Disclaimer: We own nothing but Lisa and Saria and our ideas.If you sue us, you probably wouldn't even be able to get any of our HP memorabilia. So it's a waste of time and money to us all. Thanks!

It's really amazing how quickly simply agreeing to everyday things can lead to a hellish problem that you can't talk your way out of. They had been merely rambling about various unimportant topics at that staff meeting, for the most part. Unfortunatley, at about the time he had decided to zone out and think of other things, they got down to business. Whenever someone talked to him he would just nod with a bored look on his face. The more he agreed, the happier people seemed. So he decided that if they stayed happy, they'd bother him less that way. It wasn't until Dumbledore announced that the meeting was over that he wondered exactly what he'd been agreeing to for the apparent half hour. Atleast, until McGonagall came up to him did he get a clue of just what he had gotten himself into.

"I'm surprised, Severus, You aren't usually so agreeable at meetings. I was especially surprised when you volunteered to run the Masquerade Ball this Halloween" Snape was just about to start agreeing again when it hit him.

"I beg your pardon, but I don't remember volunteering for any such thing."

"Which will teach you to not pay attention at meetings. Don't think we didn't notice" Snape did indeed have a very startled look on his face. It occured to him that even though it work quite well with Saria, the other Professors wouldn't be so easily fooled. "We decided that we should discuss the Halloween feast this year, to change a few things and make it a bit more fun for the students, we don't want them to think Hogwarts is boring, now do we? Either way, we decided on the masquerade and needed a coordinator. We were also getting very annoyed with you by this point and so we asked you if you would like to volunteer and you agreed saying 'yes, it's a good idea'. And Thus, you are now our Ball coordinator. Saria will be delighted to hear it" With that, she got a rather smug look on her face and she walked away, leaving a rather dumbstruck Snape to stand in the halls alone.

A few days later Snape had finally gotten up the courage to tell Saria about his predicament, only to find out that Prof. McGonagal had already tken the liberty. Saria had been overjoyed at the news, but dissapointed that he didn't tell her the wonderful new as soon as he had found out. For this he had been told that he must let her play with him. His hair was roughly brushed and elegantly braided that evening.

"Wow! These costumes are coming out great! I can't wait to see George in his!" Lisa was sewing on the last bits of George's Raggedy Andy costume while Saria was fixing her wig. The finished product was going to be rather...interesting. You see, since Snape was put in charge of the ball Saria and Lisa appointed theselves the costume-makers for those who wanted, and some who didn't want them.Ther list wasn't very many because they had for some reason forgotten to advertise this point. Most of the students were just haphazardly throwing together costumes anyways, many simply wearing street clothes and going as muggles.

"Yes! We're done!" Saria jumped and squeeled with joy and anticipation. "Go and find George while I start on Snape's costume. When you get back, we'll wrestle him into it and finish up. How's your costume going anyways?" Saria shuffled her feet. She hadn't been talking much and the reason was she had been thinking.

"Ummm...I still dunno yet...there's lotsa stuff I want to be, and then when I decide, another one sounds good too! I just don't know!" Saria's eyes were slightly downcast with her hands behind her back. Then her ears perked up. "Maybe Professor Uncle Sevvy can help? We'll get him all dressed up and he'll be so pleased that we made something for him that he's _sure_ to hav a good idea!" Without waiting for a reply, which probably wouldn't come as Lisa was shaking her head at her, she skipped off to find George.

"Y'know, George, I wonder what exactly Lisa and that half-breed are planning for your tonight." Fred said casually as he washed his hands in the sink of the boys lavatory. "I mean, they _only _said that they were making you a costume. They wouldn't tell us _what_" George looked a wee bit thoughtful at the urinal.

"You know what, I never spent much time thinking about it. I just kind of decided to trust Lisa, she wouldn't lead me wrong"

"_She_ wouldn't, but that _midget_ would!" Came Lee's response from a stall.

"In a heartbeat!" Replied Fred.

At this the aforementioned 'medget' came bursting into the room like a whirlwind.

"HEY! WHAT THE-This is the BOYS lavatory! Get out!" Shouted Fred.As he threw a towel at her, which almost completley covered her. She let out a shriek, fought bravely with the towel, wrestling it into submission and then ran over to George, who as still a little busy at the urinal, and started pulling on him.

"YOU'RE George! You're the nice one who _didn't_ throw evil towels at me! You have to come with me!" She began yanking on him harder.

"GAH! Err-hey! I'm more than a LITTLE busy at the moment! In case you havne't noticed!" Lee then came out of his bathroom stall and Saria wrinkled her nose.

"You _are_ going to wash your hands, aren't you?" She replied, scarcley holding back a sneer. "And you HAVE to come with me RIGHT NOW! Lisa needs help getting her bra off!" She replied hurriedly.George zipped up his fly.

"Why didn't you help her? You're a girl and it would have been faster if you did it instead of barging into the boys bathrooms!" George said, not that he was complaining, just a little curious.

"Cold hands!" She said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world and held them up as proof. She suddenly got a wicked idea and turned to Lee. "Lee? I need a date tongiht to the dance! Will you go with me?" She asked with an almost uncharacteristic seriousness that made her very convincing. Every threat that was about to come pouring out of Lee's mouth about her intrusion died before they even got to his larynx with fear. Lee looked terrified at the prospect while George was hiding his snickers and Fred wasn't even about to try, he had already fallen on the floor laughing. Saria made herself look as sweet and innocent as possbile, and she was doing a good job since she'd had years of practice.

"Yeah! Go on Lee! You don't have a date and how can you turn down such a cutie?" Fred said while bending down to her level and pinching her cheeks. Saria jsut giggled cutley and clasped her hands in front of her. Lee swallowed noisily.

"O-Ok...but please don't hurt me!" He said quickly.Saria looked overjoyed and inwardly smirked devilishly.

"Great? What are you going to be?" Lee shifted uncomfortably, he was just kind of planning on going as a muggle. When he stated this he got whacked by a soap box that had been pulle down the wall. "NO! That is the lamest and soon to be most over-done costume in the history of Halloween! And we are doing a couples dress-up!" She sighed in exasperation as Lee swallowed once more and tried not to faint. God she was frightening. "We'll have Uncle help us decide on a costume and then I'll make them for us-" Lee wavered on the spot"-I'll find you when your's is ready and we'll meet in the great hall jus tbefore dinner." She finished and dashed out of the room, George in tow. Lee took this opportunity to fall over, out cold.

Lisa jumped when the door to the room that they had occupied, Snape's office since he was in classes at the moment, crashed open and a very enthusiastic George came in. Saria came skipping in afterwards, grinning madly. Lisa didn't even want to know what she'd said to get him to come.

"Lisa, Lisa, Lisa! I gots a date!" Saria blurted out happily and maliciously(if that's even possible). Lisa looked at her.

"Really? Who?" George started to crack up into giggles as he walked over and began removing her shirt.

"Lee! I asked him, he got all scared and said yes. Then he said don't hurt me but I'm a nice girl, so I don't know what he's on about!"

"...Lee? He actually agreed? Wow, never thought that would EVER-_George!_ What the heck are you doing? Saria's here!" George had just removed her bra and looked puzzled. It wasn't hard to take off, why was she having trouble?

"Saria said I had to come and help you take off your bra because you were having trouble..SARIA! YOU LIED TO ME!" Saria giggled happily.

"But you had fun believing it! And you got it off! Bravo!" She began clapping. Lisa hastily put it back on with a muttered 'later' and held up his costume.

"To busniess!" George looked extrenely harrassed when he saw it.

"what's that?"

"Your costume, love! Go put it on!"

"You don't _seriously_ expect me to wear that, do you?"

"Sure do!" Saria quipped.

"Yup! We're making Dumbledore a beer bottle and Snape a hot dog!" Lisa laughed. George cracked up.

All of a sudden George found himself being tackled by one and a half people, as Saria doesn't count as a full person. It was an interesting feeling to be both shocked and happy at having your clothing ripped off by two girls at the same time. In a record time he was redressed in his Raggedy Andy costume, he didn't need a wig. Saria appeared before him with a make-up kit and got to work without any explanation. Lisa laughed in the background. The site of Saria with a make-up kit was frightening enough, but even more so was his reflection in the mirror which she proudly held up so that he could admire her handy-work. She looked so proud of herself that he didn't have the heart to crush her with saying something like 'what the heck did you do to me!?' or something so cruel. Instead he tried to smile awekwardly and tried to say something nice and encouraging but all that came out was: "err...nice?" She looked overjoyed just the same and swelled up with pride. Lisa hugged him from behind.

"Awww! You look so cute!" She said, laughing. She then proceeded to pick up something very large, Saria carrying the smaller end. It was Dumbledore's beer bottle costume. "Well, we're off to deliver this and get Dumbledore ready for tonight.! Do you wanna come or just hang out here until we get back? We shouldn't be more than twenty or so minutes." George nodded, saying he would rather stay in here alone than be seen outside, just yet, he added at the hurt look on Saria's small face. She smiled happily once more and freed a hand to put her make-up case into her pocket. They proceeded to Dumbledore's office.

Snape rubbed his temples. This school year was shaping up to be the worst in his career. His deranged niece had come for schoolin gfor god knows how long, Lisa was back with George, the lot of them were wreaking havoc on the school, and himself, and now his classroom was a mess. He didn't care what anyone said or how hard that Longbottom boy tried, He was a nuisance and the msot inept thing in this school! What kind of name was _Longbottom_ anyways?

He opened his eyes and looked at his now blue-fur-growing dungeon. His beautiful, dank, dark, previously not blue or furry dungeon. It was almost enough to make him cry. But no, he would not break down. He had dismissed the students, giving Longbottom a ton of homework on the potion and thrown himself down into his chair. He would have to have the house elves clean up this wretched mess.In the meantime, he had papert to grade back in his office. He would go there and relax with a tumbler of fire whisky to relax until this evening, where he would be subjected to the masquerade ball that he had been working on for the past few weeks. He didn't want to do it, but he had agreed, he had asked several teachers about McGonagall's story, the result always the same. He was a man of his word and so he had done his best to organize the events. He wasn't sure about a band though, some sort of music to have playing. Atleast, he wasn't until his abnormal niece had come bouncing up to him with a 'great' idea that she had come up with all by herself. He gave her a cookie for her efforts.

Her idea was to have a student band play. Once he thought about it, it wasn't really a very bad idea. He would never admit it, but he had heard a particular group of students playing when he was walking passed the boys lavatory. When he had questioned them upon their reasons for practicing in the bathroom the boys had all said, rather shiftily, that it had the best accoustics, besides the dungeons. They didn't want to bother him, they'd said, but he knew better. He ordered them to practice in the dungeons for the next few weeks so that he could sit in on their rehearsals while he marked tests and things, to make sure they would be good enough when the night came. They were more than happy to volunteer to be the entertainment, it would be there first 'gig', whatever that was.

And so everything was now planned. He only hoped that a particular group of misfits could stay out of trouble for the evening. No one had told him that _he_ had to wear a costume. Thus it was indeed a surpise when he entered his office to find Lisa, George and Saria sitting on the floor with fabric, needles and bits of everything everywhere. He was about to walk back out when Saria latched herself onto his arm, what she could reach of it anyways.

"Ucle Sevvy! Uncle Sevvy! We just finished your costume!" What? He didn't thin khe'd heard her correctly. "We need you to try it on to make sure it fits!" No, it didn't seem like he had, but it was nice to hope anyways. "Come and asee! We worked really hard on it all day!" She showed him the costume. He knew hope was overrated.

He looked at the thing that she couldn't even lift halfway off of the floor to show him. She was holding a giant hot dog. He was disgusted. "You couldn;t make me something decent? Like a Vampire?" He asked, in a very dark tone.

"Sorry, professor, but all you're lacking in that field is the need to drink blood" Lisa said. Snape bit back the urge to say 'wanna bet?'.

"I refuse to wear that...that..._thing_." He crossed his arms. A small sniffling was heard in the room, behind th ehot dog suit to be precise. It was lowered to reveal the face of a very upset looking Saria, her eyes were brimmng with tears and her lower lip was beginning to tremble. Damnit.

"But....but...We worked so hard on it...We made it special for you..." Her voice sounded choked.

"Well too bad, either make a different one or I wont wear anything-" Two different sets of snickers arose "-ahem I wont wear a costume!" Saria looked hurt and she sat down with the costume, looking it over. She couldn't see anything wrong with it. He'd make a cute hot dog. Her sniffling hadn't ceased and some tears had started to fall noiselessly from her face. She looked back up at Snape with puppy dog eyes.

"Don't you _dare_ cry over this!" He gave her his sternest look.

"But...what's wrong with it...I thought we did a good job..." Snape sighed.

"It's a _hot dog_ Saria. A **hot dog!** I do not wish to wear something so embarrassing! And besides you can make something else just as easily as _that_" He stated. Saria shook her head and examined the stitching.

"No she can't, professor. The two of us made it. By hand, meaning, the muggle way. You know, with needles and thread? That was hand made and we don't have the time to make another, we have three other costumes to make and then four to deliver. We don't have any time to make others! Stop being such a jerk and just wear it! It wont kill you to wear it for one night!" Lisa exclaimed.

"First of all, it will kill my reputation and destroy my pride and dignity-"

"So park them on the shelf for a night! Atleast _try_ to act like an uncle to her! She's never done anything to you!"

"on the contrary, she has done things such as this to me and I do not-"

"But you can just pretend we're playing dress-up, like we used to! It wont be that bad, Uncle Sevvy! Please?" Saria pouted at him. Snape's eyes widened at the looks of interest he was recieving from Lisa and George, who had remained silent throughout the confrontaiton. He quickly clapped a hand on her mouth.

"Don't ever bring that up around people again..." He used his most threataning voice on her. She wasn't phased. She grinned maliciously.

"Put on the costume, andI'll consider it" Snape looked outraged, how dare she blackmail him?

"You wont consider it, child, you will do it." Saria sighed innocently.

"Fine, I wont bring it up in front of people. Now will you wear it? ?I need to figure out what _I'm_ going to be!" Snape sneered.

"Very well...why don't you just go as yourself? Or a pain in the-" Saria clapped her hands over her ears.

"LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA I'M NO TLISTENING TO A TEACHER AND MY UNCLE SAY NAUGHTY THINGS! LA LA LA LA!" Snape could just about scream.

"It isn't like you don't know and say wose!" He shouted as he grabbed the costume and went to change.

Some time later, all the costumes were made and the people dressed and ready for the maquerade. It was going to be an interesting night...

TO BE CONTINUED!

We are extremley sorry for the two-year wait time it took us to update! We are intending upon writing on a regular basis again and hope to have the next chapter up soon! Please stay tuned!


End file.
